Let the Tears Fall
by Amphitrite II
Summary: Otogi loves Jounouchi, but Jounouchi is with Kaiba. Otogi falls into deep depression, leading to...the end. Suicide fic. :::Snareshipping, Jounouchi/Otogi:::


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Let the Tears Fall

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Songfic by Amphitrite

A/n: Yay! Another yaoi songfic for my (slowly) growing X collection. ^^ I hope this one will turn out okay…Enjoy! (Heh, note the double angst genre.)

Disclaimer: _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ belongs to Takahashi Kazuki-sama. '_You Won't Be Mine'_ is property of Matchbox 20.

Pairings: One-sided Otogi/Jounouchi (Otogi's side), Seto/Jounouchi

Warnings: Otogi angst, yaoi, confusing POV and style, and suicide. Oh, and did I mention angst?

/Otogi's Thoughts/

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He stood in the shadows, completely silent and motionless. He watched as Yuugi-tachi talked excitedly to Sugoroku in front of the Kame Game Corner. Yuugi-tachi. Yuugi, Jounouchi, Anzu, and Honda. But today, there was another one present. He narrowed his emerald eyes.

The boy standing by Jounouchi was none other than Kaiba Seto. The ebony-haired duelist's fists clenched. Kaiba just reminded him of his pain, who reminded him of The Night. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, he was merely a translucent figure in his own memory.

He watched as he walked Jounouchi's house. Past!Otogi held a small silver box in his hands. Its shiny paper glinted in the moonlight. A smile formed on his cream colored face as he thought of his long-time crush.

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Take your head around the world

See what you get

From your mind

He stepped up to the Jounouchi doorway, looking extremely nervous but trying to conceal it. Of course, he wasn't succeeding. He rang the doorbell, his hand shaking as he touched the white button. He drew his hand back and fingered the charm on his necklace nervously.

Jounouchi fumbled with the lock for a few seconds before succeeding in opening it. He was surprised to see Otogi standing on his doorstep, looking extremely twitchy. He blinked.

"Nani? Otogi-kun? What are you doing here? It's really late."

"Gomen, Jounouchi-kun…I need to talk to you about something. Something really really important that can't wait any longer." Past!Otogi answered. Jounouchi cocked his head to the side in confusion and looked at his friend.

"Nani, Otogi-kun?"

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Write your soul down word for word

See who's your friend

Who is kind

"Can I come in?" Past!Otogi asked. Jounouchi hesitated, looking a little embarrassed.

"Maybe it's better if we talk out here. Is that okay?"

"I guess…" Past!Otogi said warily.

The real version cringed. He knew what would come next. This was the worst part. The part that had broken his heart. The part that pained every part of him when he remembered it.

"I love…" Past!Otogi started. The real one shut his eyes tight. Here it comes…

"Jou-koi? Who is it? Are you okay?" came a voice that sounded suspiciously like…

"It's just Otogi-kun, Seto-chan." Jounouchi called back. /_Just _Otogi-kun?/ Kaiba snuck up behind Jounouchi and wrapped his arms around his waist. He kissed the blonde's neck. "Seto-chan…" Jounouchi whined.

Past!Otogi dropped the silver box, emerald eyes widening in horror. He bent down to pick it up and started to run away from the two lovers. He only got a few feet away before he tripped over a stone in the sidewalk. He fell to the ground, on his knees. Tears began to well in his eyes. Not from the pain of the fall, but from the heartbreak and betrayal he felt.

The original figure opened his eyes again, knowing exactly what had just happened. He watched with pain as his memory-self tried to get up but fell back onto the ground. His leg really didn't feel right…

Jounouchi made a motion to run toward him, but Kaiba held him back. "Daijoubu, Otogi-kun?" the blonde shouted. Otogi-kun. Kun. That's all that it would ever be. No –chan, no –koi. Nothing. Just –kun. He was only a friend to Jounouchi. To his crush, he was nothing but a friend. Someone who was just…there.

"Iie." He whispered, but loud enough for Jounouchi to hear.

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It's almost like a disease

I know soon you will be

Over the lies, you'll be strong

Jounouchi's heart wrenched as the other boy struggled to stand up, finally succeeding. He supported himself with a stick that had been laying on the ground and put something in his pocket. Then he turned around painfully. Jounouchi was shocked to see tears welling in his beautiful eyes.

"Iie." He repeated. "I will never be okay, Jounouchi-SAN." He spit the last part out bitterly. "I thought that you were the one…I thought that you loved me too. I loved you. So much. Too much. 

That's why I feel so much pain right now, isn't it? I loved you so much, but you don't think of me as anything other than a friend. Well, goodbye, then, Jounouchi-san. And let's both hope that our paths will never cross again. Have a nice life with your koi." Past!Otogi said coldly, starting to hobble away.

The real version cringed again at his harsh words. But however bitter that it had been, it was the truth. The truth. The memory faded away and became the real world. He reached into his pocket and retrieved something. The small silver box. He clenched it and its edges became more wrinkled than it already was.

This was supposed to be Jounouchi's gift. He had saved up forever to have this made…But, no. Jounouchi already had a koi. A rich one, in fact. So he didn't need this gift, did he? He growled softly. He ripped the wrapping paper off and opened the box.

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You'll be rich in love and you will carry on

But no – oh no

No, you won't be mine

It was a necklace…A glassy charm with engraved lettering on both sides that hung from a black leather cord. It looked like the one that Jounouchi wore during Battle City, except that it had words carved into it. On the front side there was an O intertwined with a K that stood for Otogi…and Katsuya. On the back, it read: Aishiteru. Jounouchi no Otogi, 1997. 

The duelist smiled. Jounouchi's Otogi…But that was all just pointless wishing now, anyway. So what did it matter? He threw the necklace to the ground in frustration. Why did it have to happen this way? He never did anything wrong…why did he deserve this pain?

  
He didn't understand…

He looked at the ground. The gift lay still on the ground, not even cracked. He had gotten the charm made from the best material…no wonder it wouldn't break.

The things he did for the one that he loved. Loved. Not loves…He had no feelings for Jounouchi any more. Well, he did. But he knew that they would never be returned. So what was the point of hoping? He had given up.

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Take your straight line for a curve

Make it stretch, the same old line

Try to find if it was worth what you spent

The black-haired male stuffed the gift into his pocket and watched as Yuugi-tachi walked into the Game Corner, still all smiles. Sugoroku stayed outside, still sweeping the floor free of autumn leaves. The duelist stepped out of the shadows and walked past the old man and to his home, which was right above his shop.

Sugoroku waved at him. "Hey, Otogi-kun!" he hollered. But the other ignored him. Or perhaps he hadn't even heard the greeting. Whatever the reason, Sugoroku didn't receive an answer. The Kame Game Corner owner shrugged and muttered something about ungrateful teens these days.

***

He locked himself up in his room, which was a plain one at that. He lay down on the bed (complete with dark seagreen sheets) and stared blankly at the ceiling. What had gone wrong? Why had Kaiba been chosen instead of him? He was just as good…Didn't he deserve someone as good as Jounouchi?

No…the gods didn't think so. So they gave him heartbreak and loneliness…but rewarded Kaiba with riches and gold…and what mattered the most: a love. He didn't understand.

He twirled a strand of ebony hair around his finger. /Why is life like this? When I finally get the courage to confess after such a long time of crushing…he rejects me. Iie…he didn't reject me. He already belonged to somebody else. Shimatta…why must it _be_ this way?/

He held back his tears. /I will _not_ cry. I will not show my weakness. This is all Kaiba's fault! If he hadn't stolen _my_ Jounouchi, I wouldn't be here right now! I would be with Jounouchi and his friends at the Game Corner.

I would be happy./

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Why you're guilty for the way

You're feeling now

It's almost like being free

And I know soon you will be

/It's so not fair…why am _I_ stuck with the heartbreak? Why couldn't Kaiba be the one who feels like they have been ripped in two? Because that's how I feel now…even though he didn't love me back, he was still a part of me. Exactly one half of me. Without him, I'm only one part of a whole.

One half of a whole.

What good am I without him? He was my joy, my happiness, my fantasy…

But what is he now? My ex-crush? What a noble title, ne? Jounouchi, Otogi's ex-crush./ He bit his lip harshly to keep from crying. He wouldn't cry. Not now. Not ever.

/I hate this life…I hate living. I hate myself./

He stood up and went to his desk, taking a fancy box out from the top drawer. It was silver and had words engraved into the cover.

The words read in fancy English script, _"I give thou this gift, bidding thee to enter the Netherworld."_ He had never understood what that was saying. A while ago, he had translated the message into Japanese. But he still didn't understand it.

He opened the box slowly. On the inside cover was another message. _"Thou shall be the one who is left to die."_ He had looked that one up too. It had confused him even more.

Inside the box were three differently colored dice and a silver dagger in a black leather sheath. He lifted the dice out and rotated all three to look at the faces. These dice were actually the ones that had given him the idea of Dungeon Dice Monsters.

There was one green one (him), one yellow one (Jounouchi), and one blue one (Kaiba). Each had the same six different symbols on its faces: a sword, a heart, a Roman numeral one, a tear, a hexagram, and a skull.

The three dice had been given to him by a relative. When he had received them, the relative had told him that they could predict the future. But the black-haired freshman had never figured out what the symbols meant.

Until now.

The green die represented him…by his green eyes. Jounouchi was represented by the yellow, since he had blonde hair. The last die, which was blue, represented Kaiba, also because of his eyes. The six symbols were the ones who predicted the future.

So if he just rolled them…

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Over the lies, you'll be strong

You'll be rich in love and you will carry on

But no – oh no

No, you won't be mine

The yellow die landed on the heart. The blue one did as well. The green one spun around for a moment, then stopped on the skull. Heart, heart, skull. 

He shook his head, not wanting to believe it. Heart, heart, Roman numeral one. Then again. Heart, heart, sword. One more…Heart, heart, Roman numeral one again. Last time…Heart, heart, tear.

His heart sank. He sat down sadly onto his chair. The message was clear to him now…He understood it all.

All five times, Jounouchi and Kaiba's dice had landed on the hearts. That meant that their love was eternal. If he had rolled their dice again, there was no doubt that it would land on the hearts again.

His symbols were, in order: Skull, one, sword, one, and tear. The skull meant death. The 'one' was actually an English letter, 'I'. The sword meant 'kill' and the tear was pain.

Death. I kill myself. Pain.

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"I give thou this gift, bidding thee to enter the Netherworld."

"Thou shall be the one who is left to die."

He was meant to kill himself. The message on the outer cover of the box instructed him to enter the world of the Dead. The second message was telling him that he would be left out of Jounouchi's heart. He would be heartbroken and would die soon enough.

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Take yourself out to the curb

Sit and wait

A fool for life

He took the sheathed knife out from the box and drew it out. On the handle was a green jewel. Whether it was real or not, he knew not and didn't care either. He ran a cream-colored index finger alone the edge of the small blade and watched as his crimson blood flowed out of the cut.

He was not afraid of the pain.

He did not _feel_ the pain.

/So this is what it all comes down to. To die or not to die? Well, the answer is obvious, isn't it? I was never one to defy Fate…/ He inhaled sharply. /I will accept my destiny. My destiny to die./

He took the blade and began to cut along his wrists. English letters. He didn't know why. Maybe it was because the two messages on the box were written in English.

First an 'A'…(Aishiteru) on his right wrist. Then he switched hands and engraved a 'J'…(Jounouchi), a lower case 'n'…(no), and last of all an 'O'…(Otogi).

Aishiteru. Jounouchi no Otogi. I love you, from Jounouchi's Otogi.

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It's almost like a disease

I know soon you will be

Nobody else would ever understand the message, but nobody else would ever _care_. He doubted anyone would even notice that he had died.

He could just hear them now. "Otogi? Otogi who? Oh, you mean that black-haired kid with the ponytail? He died? Oh, well, you know. Everyone dies _some_ time."

/Nobody cares. Goodbye, minna./

He cringed as the pain of cutting his veins began to sink in. But this time, he let the tears fall. He showed his weakness to the world. And he didn't care.

The ebony-haired male took a breath and gripped the knife tightly. Then he pierced his heart. The overwhelming horror and pain took over and he collapsed to the floor of his room.

/Once heard somewhere…most…regret…decision while they're dy…ing after they…suicide. But not…me. Know…I deserve…this./

That incoherent thought was his last.

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Over the lies, you'll be strong

You'll be rich in love and you will carry on

But no – oh no

No, you won't be mine.

He was a master of games, namely Dungeon Dice Monsters.

He was Ryuuji Otogi.

He was gone.

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A/n: Now, wasn't that just so cheerful? ^^ Took me a while to finish. Glad I finished it before school started up again…I hope you readers liked it! If not…-_-;;

Please review, minna-san. It makes me feel appreciated. Thanks.


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